It is said that the best gift you can give anyone, is your unconditional love and acceptance. This is especially true for healthy relationships- unconditional acceptance of your partner’s belief’s, attitudes and behaviors is important.
Having said that, it is also true that unconditional acceptance is something that we all want, but we rarely give out. It is easier said than done. But, it can be learnt, and it is something that the people in our lives totally deserve.
I am not a relationship expert, by any means. These are just the things that I have learnt in the past few years from experience, hindsight and SEVERAL mistakes.
1. Get rid of Unrealistic Expectations: It is okay to expect. You will need to attain a certain level of Nirvana, to be free of expectations. The problem is with the unrealistic variety. The kind that romantic novels and movies fill in your brain. For e.g. He may not always know the right thing to say, coz lets face it, he is not Ryan Reynolds, who is reading a script full of sweet, romantic quotes. He may not surprise you with flowers or chocolates, but he might choose to do the dishes without you having to ask, or he might even let you finish his tandoori chicken. 😛 The point isn’t WHAT he’s doing, it’s the thought behind it.
2. Love More, Judge Less: Like they say, counting other people’s sins, does not make you a saint. When we judge, we form a rigid opinion about someone, which makes it difficult to accept them for who they are.
3. Agree to Disagree: This will make it easier for you to accept your partner’s views, even when you might not agree with them. It is imperative to understand that everyone has a unique emotional outlook, and that many a times, there is no absolute right or wrong. It is just a matter of perception and perspective.
True love exists. Perfect Relationships do not. Which means, while true unconditional love is possible, perfection is not. So, let’s strive for what is possible – which is loving and accepting the people in our lives, unconditionally.
How about we all try and do one thing today, that shows the people in our lives how special and loved they are? What would be that one thing for you? What gesture makes you feel unconditionally loved and accepted? Words of appreciation? Last piece of brownie? 😉
*This post is written for the AtoZChallenge.
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Soumya
I loved this article because it was so realistic and achievable. Unconditional love is all one needs.
Beautiful writing Shantala. Looking forward to more gems like this from you 🙂
Soumya recently posted…A: Awakening
Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much, Soumya. Glad to have you here. I loved your take on Awakening. Staying tuned for more.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Mee Magnum
Thank you for this enlightening article! Your word ring very true and are inspiring.
Thank you for starting my day off with such sage advice.
–Mee (from The Chinese Quest)
Mee Magnum recently posted…“A” is for the A-List of Chinese Restaurants #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Shanaya Tales
Thank you for stopping by, Mee. Loved the A-List. Hope to check them out soon.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Vinay Leo R.
Looking for perfection in imperfection 🙂 Very nice. and quite true. Especially agree with the unrealistic expectations part.
Vinay Leo R. recently posted…The Accident
Shanaya Tales
Thank you for stopping by, Vinay 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Catherine Johnson
Great advice! What a great subject for A-Z. I was a silly romantic when I first met my husband.
Catherine Johnson recently posted…Student of the Month for Creativity
Shanaya Tales
I guess we all start out that way 😛 I hope I have been able to drop the silly after 5 years 😉 Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Nancy@thethinkinhat.com
Great Thought! When you read a piece like this, you end up thinking why we unnecessary complicate our relationships 🙂
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Shanaya Tales
Thank you, Nancy 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
Agree to disagree — so very true. Mr Imperfect and I have very diverse views on certain subjects and can both be stubborn. We need to agree to disagree. And I do agree that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and every relationship takes work. Nice start to the challenge!
Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life recently posted…A is for Ablutophobia #atozchallenge
Shanaya Tales
Yeah Saanch. That rule alone saves us hours of pointless arguments. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Rachna
Unconditional acceptance does wonders to any relationship. But like you mentioned, it is often so hard to give. Loved your pointers.
Rachna recently posted…Exams, results and vacations!
Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much for stopping by, Rachna. Appreciate it 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
usha menon
An interesting write up. I agree that unconditionable love exists but we must not takr it for granted.
Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much for stopping by, Ushaji 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Pooja Sharma Rao
Simply said and well said. Looking forward to more.
Pooja Sharma Rao recently posted…Aide-memoire ( in the memory of my late father)
Shanaya Tales
Thank you, Pooja. Glad to have you here. Your write up was by far one of the best things I read for A.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Suzy
Very well summed up with True love exists, perfect relationships do not. Agree to disagree is also one of my favourites – diffuses so many angry situations. Nice start to the AtoZ
Suzy recently posted…Love is in the Air – Assessing Creation
Shanaya Tales
Oh yes, agreeing to disagree is the fastest and easiest peace-making solution. Thank you so much for stopping by, Suzy. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Shalini
Love you for writing this, Shantala!Made my heart fill up with love for my darling hubby <3 Thanks again! I'm at work now, but I will definitely read this out to him. Love ya! Will be back tomorrow. 🙂
Shalini recently posted…Forever alone No more- 1
Shanaya Tales
I too enjoyed the story of the origin of Avial. Your comment made my day. Thank you so much, Shalini 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Vidya Sury
What a beautiful post, Shanaya! That quote is just wonderful! Happy A to Z-ing!
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Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much for stopping by, Vidya. Happy A to Z-ing to you too.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Sharu
This is going to be a very useful self-grooming session on your blog! 🙂 Nice post Shanya 🙂
-S
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Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much for stopping by, Sharu. Glad to have connected with you.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Amrit Sinha
“True love exists. Perfect Relationships do not.” There is a beauty in imperfection, isn’t it? 🙂
Shanaya Tales
There is, indeed. Thank you for stopping by, Amrit. Glad to have connected with you.
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Prasanna
I think acceptance is one thing most people desire. I try very hard not to judge people based on their outer appearance. For me some words of appreciation or even just sitting next to me and talking for a while means a lot. Great topic to start 🙂
Shanaya Tales
Yeah, I guess acceptance is one of the most basic needs that we have. Thank you so much for stopping by, Prasanna. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Shilpa Garg
Well said! Acceptance is the foundation of lasting relationships. Once you have your expectations and understanding in place, less things will upset you.’ True love exists. Perfect Relationships do not’… Indeed! 🙂
Shilpa Garg recently posted…A is for Awkward
Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much for stopping by, Shilpa. Loved your take on A is for Awkward 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Shailaja
So beautiful. I wrote a similar post for last year’s A-Z on the word Unconditional. Your thoughts echo mine 🙂
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Shanaya Tales
Thank you so much, Shailaja. I always look forward to knowing what you think about my posts as I really enjoy your writing. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Parul
Loved your post and your words are so true. There is nothing like a perfect relationship but there is true love.
VT wakes me up every morning and by the time I am up, the morning tea is ready. He may not do other household chores, but this one steals my heart every other day 🙂 (touch wood)
Parul recently posted…A for Acid Attacks
Shanaya Tales
Awww..that is so sweet of him. You both are lucky to have each other. Thank you so much for stopping by, Parul. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Shilpa Gupte
Ah! Enlightened! It felt nice reading, and realising, that there are certain areas I need to work upon. Thank you, Shantala, for this wonderful post. Wish you the best for the Challenge!
Shilpa Gupte recently posted…New age shopping.
Shanaya Tales
There are areas we all need to work on, I guess. In a way, we are all an eternal Work-In-Progress. Thank you so much for stopping by, Shilpa. Your support means a lot. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z
Lata Sunil
Interesting post. Its the expectations which create the barrier to unconditional acceptance.
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Shanaya Tales
Very true, Lata. Thank you for stopping by. 🙂
Shanaya Tales recently posted…Unconditional Acceptance for Good Relationships #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z