Today, I am very happy to welcome a very dear friend, Shailaja, to my space. I came across her parenting blog a couple of month’s back, and the first thing that caught my attention was the Yelling Less counter on the sidebar. It read over 150+ yell free days at that point. 150+ days since she last yelled at her daughter. That intrigued me. If I were to ever keep such a counter, I would reach 3 days at my very best. So, I decided to browse through her posts on Yelling Less and I was hooked. She has a style of writing which makes you feel that she is talking directly to you/reader and that makes it more of a conversation than simply information.
It is my honour and privilege to host Shailaja here. Thank you for this post, Shailaja.
Anyone who has ever been a parent knows the overwhelming need to yell when things don’t go as planned. Some of us control the urge, others divert the yell and most of us just give in to it and let the people around us hear our voices’ loudest tones. Yelling Less is a goal I set for myself back in 2013, as a week-long exercise. From there, it’s been a journey of ups and downs in the yelling department but mostly, it has been a journey within.
It’s now been over 220 days since I’ve yelled at my daughter. So what does that make me? A good parent, a motivated individual or an inspiration to many?
The answer is – none of the above.
Quite simply, because, this is a journey that I undertook to surmount one of my biggest challenges as a parent and suffice to say that it has led to far deeper insights as an individual than merely lowering my decibel levels.
Yelling at our children primarily implies three situations that need tackling at the parent level. One, it is the parent-child power dynamic where one feels empowered over the other by virtue of age. Two, it is the inference that the child is ‘defying’ the parent which warrants a yell. And three, it’s the parent’s complete exhaustion at any point during the day that triggers the yell over the slightest form of disobedience.
I’m simplifying here, of course, but what we need to remember is that each of those scenarios can be tackled with a slight shift in perspective. In the parenting group that I run, we conduct monthly challenges, post daily tips for yelling less, offer support and empathy for those who have yelled, inspired by the principles of The Orange Rhino.
Both the Yelling Less challenge and my support group taught me two very important spiritual lessons:
- Anyone, at any given time, is capable of change. It merely requires the inspiration and motivation at the right time.
- Never judge another mother/person for the behaviour that she exhibits- for you know not the singular travails of every individual you come across.
So, in a way, Yelling less at my daughter was the trigger for the journey into my own soul. For that, I shall be eternally grateful to her.
Thank you, Shantala, for this opportunity to write a guest post for your blog. I am honoured and feel privileged that you reached out to me.
Shailaja Vishwanath- Blogger Bio
Shailaja Vishwanath is a freelance writer, editor, content developer and blogger who shares life lessons on parenting on her blog Diary of a Doting Mom. Her short stories, poetry and tips for writing can be found at The Moving Quill. She also runs a support blog for bloggers, Blog-A-Rhythm, where bloggers come together to learn and grow together on this writing journey.
She counts parenting, reading, writing, swimming and social networking among her top passions.
*This post is written for the AtoZChallenge.
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